Board games

Being from Georgia, it amazes me when schools don't declare MLK day as a holiday. Luckily, IU is not one of them, so I had the day off. It has been nice, except for the ella server breakdown, which means I am unable to work on an html tables assignment...or rather see the results of my coding...very annoying.

This semester will definitely be different from the past three. I am at school more, because I work at the library more. I'm also not driving to Brazil three times a week. It's different, but nice, and much more economical.

I had a great weekend. John drove from Athens, Georgia to visit me, which was very sweet. Saturday evening, Susan and I hosted a cocktail/board game party at my place. Being the insane ocd planner that I am, I had a layout of different game tables organized. Of course the 11 people (everybody we invited!...and all that can fit in my miniscule apartment) opted to play one game at a time in the living room...everything from Apples to Apples to Cranium. Overall, it was a very successful and fun night. In the future, I am looking forward to having a larger place in which to entertain...because I hate messes mingling with parties. Sunday I got to go to my favorite restaurant here (Snow Lion), and today John left and I finally got to my homework, which minus the ella incident, has successfully been completed.

Tomorrow (or this morning rather) it's back to the grind...work work work, school school, job searching, finalizing references...

Nothing much to say...I think I am going to wait until there is actually something interesting to say before I post again.

"mmm that it's all for the best...of course it is"

So my last semester of grad school has officially began. I can't believe I have been up here so long. It seems almost impossible that I have gotten this far, given the fact that I was completely miserable last year (and not just because I was in Indiana). Anyways, today was interesting. I had my Information Architecture for the Web (Web Design) class. The professor really knows his stuff. While some of the information he was giving completely went over my head, I still remained interested...which is a good sign. I'm glad I am only taking two classes this semester, since this one will definitely take up most of my time. Tomorrow I have my library automation class...hmmm.

I started my new job today...well I still work in the same place, I just have an added 10 hours of working on this specific project. Apparantly IU bought this collection from this man named Gaitoz in the 1970s. It's basically boxes and boxes of folklore books, journal articles, photographs, and everything else under the sun, from this one guy's collection. Most of the items are in french, which is good for me. The collection is going to get digitized since it is in such disrepair, and we are trying to index it before it gets sent to the appropriate place. That's where I get to help out. I am coming in kind of late, since a couple of other people were working on it last semester, but it's better pay and good experience. I also have my normal job working for Charla, with the potential for more hours, if Molly goes to the poli sci librarian. Basically I am at work WAY more than class this semester.

Break was wonderful. I had a wonderful time with my family, friends, and dog. I don't think I can remember a time in the recent past that I have been this happy. I'm still happy even up here in Bloomington. I got rid of the crappy things that used to weigh down my life. I thought I would be empty without them, but there have been plenty of things and people to fill the void spaces. I just like being optimistic not only about my future, but also my present.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Those Chuck Norris things honestly crack me up. Sometimes I wish I could roundhouse kick people too...put them in shape...but then I start thinking about the old Nickelodeon show called Roundhouse, and my mind is on yet another tangeant...anyways.

It's been a while, and things have been great. As I look back on 2005, I realize some amazing things happened. I got to walk around Stonehenge (no stanchions holding me back), with my shoes off (only for a second, it was cold) to feel the lines of power. I got to go shopping in Chicago. I finally got to see Crater Lake. I started working in libraries. I finally became comfortable in Indiana. It's too bad a lot of crap happened...this year had a lot of good qualities, and ended wonderfully.

Christmas was great. I am truly blessed for having my family. I did a lot of shopping, which normally doesn't happen. Retail truly is therapy...I just can't get used to it. A few days ago, my boss from collection development called me. She said that the project that I was originally hired for is finally going to start in January. They want to work me 10 hours a week, on a higher pay. In addition, she wants me to work 10 hours of the same job I had the previous semester, on my current wage. So I get 20 hours a week of work, making more money than I did last semester...and I don't have to drive an hour and 15 minutes one way, so it will all go to me (minus taxes, etc) and not my credit card bill for gas. I'm also glad I don't have to pick up a library job that pays like 5 bucks per hour. I am okay paying my dues, but it will be nice to actually be making money while I am here.

New Years was probably the best I have had in my life. I cooked dinner for my parents, nephew, and Krista. I then went to Paige and Jason's for an hour, which sucked because I couldn't stay long. I then make my final trek to Athens, where I spent the rest of the night with John, and Lauren and Kelly. We were in East West Bistro (my favorite bar in Athens) when the clock struck midnight. I got tipsy off of one long island (the strongest and grossest one ever) and was good to go for the rest of the night. The only thing that sucked about the night was the lack of godiva martinis due to the absence of ice cream...my favorite drink ever. It was nice to get to hang out with Lauren again though and talk about cool kids books and play Harry Potter Scene It (which I never won...I don't pay attention to the movies well enough).

This week is pretty busy. I'm going to try to see Danny and Adam, Krista and Ashley, Krista and Lauren (two separate occasions), John, my family, and Adrian and Paige before I leave. Luckily, I will be back in March for spring break (does anybody want to go to Florida with me?), so no 4 month absences this time. This is my first visit back here that I've truly been happy. It's nice.

Home

Wow...I can't believe one week of my four week stay here is almost up. Interesting, but not much has happened. My grades ended up as expected...it was obvious that I completely liked two classes more than the third, but all who know me know that I am an obsessive perfectionist, so I did fine.

It sucks that all of my friends have full-time jobs. Well it just sucked this week because my mom was still teaching and I basically had nothing to do. I think I needed to just sleep and stare at the wall or a good 4 days, just to clear my mind of the past semester. This week is going to prove to be more hectic. Monday I'm going shopping and going to spend the night in Athens. Thursday, I'm going to the Atlanta aquarium, which should be interesting. Another trip to Ikea is in store since I have to get a birthday/christmas present for an obsessive fan :). There's also the whole Christmas thing going on.

Christmas Eve is one of my favorite times, mainly because of the family dinner. We've finally settled on the tradition of surf and turf (lobster tails and steak) along with so much else (my mom is an excellent cook). My best friend Adrian always attends and we are shaking with anticipation by the time dinner is served (we are pathetic, I know).

Today I was forced to go through boxes and boxes of my childhood to decide what I wanted to keep and sell, since my parents are getting ready to sell the house. I found all of my report cards, which contained mostly all A's. I did notice in the earlier grades that I had a difficult time "staying on task when working independently". Once I realized that the teachers were saying stuff about me, I began to play the game, but I still see myself wasting time on things less important. My aptitude was also the same when I was young. Looking at all of the standardized tests, I always scored so high in mathematical skills, and linguistic stuff, and sucked at other things. I'm not even remotely good at math, but sure enough, my math score was higher than my english on the SAT. It's weird how much we think we change.

I have to say the best boxes were the ones from high school. I found so many notes from friends...the things we used to come up with. I also found all of my old auxiliary bears from Christmas parties and Brookwood crap from football games. There were french awards, scholar musician awards (I never played an instrument), rookie of the year for color guard (repeated that at Carolina Crown), band spirit, and so many other things that I completely forgot about. I wouldn't want to relive the drama again, especially after reading my diary, but those years really shaped who I am today.

To continue with the nostalgia, I saw The Lion, Witch, and Wardrobe tonight. I have been reading The Chronicles of Narnia (all 7) every Christmas since I was little (I'm not a new comer just because of the movie). I love the stories. I have to say that Disney did an excellent job. Usually I don't plug movies, but after the disappointment of Harry Potter (mainly because of the length of the book did not translate well to the movie), this was absolutely amazing. I like that C.S. Lewis had all the Christian allusions, but the stories themselves stand alone. I would go more into this, but then I would just be preaching, and my religion discussions are definitely reserved for a more private audience. Anyways, my interpretation of the Chronicles does justice to my beliefs.

Well, I am ridiculously tired and wish to go to bed now. I might update before I go back to Bloomington.

Good times, bad times, and all the stuff in between...

So, I am officially done with this semester. I normally work on Friday mornings, but I worked extra on Monday, so I don't have to this Friday (and I got to ride the cherry picker to the top of the staks in ALF!). I also normally have class on Friday afternoon, but it was cancelled, and I turned in my final project today (nerves!), so it means I am REALLY done. What a great feeling, knowing that I am two classes away from a masters degree. I can't even explain how great this feels (I will need to remind myself during the job search next semester). Tomorrow night calls for a beer celebration with the girls at Lennie's (did I spell that right?). Anyways, it will be my first time, so I am très excited.

I would go home Friday, but a wonderful snow storm is due tomorrow, so I will wait until Saturday. It's been 4 months, and I've been getting homesick, so I shall be making the 8 hour drive come Saturday. I'll be home for 28 days or something like that. By that time, I'll be ready to be back here.

Yucky things have been happening lately...a lot of deaths. I'm not close to any of these people, but I wish those who are peace in their lives. What a terrible thing to have to deal with.

I haven't had to deal with any deaths recently, but one major personal battle took over my life for a good week or two. I sat down and thought about my near and far future, and evaluated my present. One major involvement in my present not only majorly conflicts with my near future, but also has nothing to do with my distant future. That combined with a bunch of other things helped me come to the conclusion that I had to let go of something I have loved more than any person (excluding my family of course). It's not a big deal, because I'm not important (which that never mattered to me), but I do feel like I am letting people down in time of greater need. I loved where I was and the people in my immediate surroundings, but the activity itself and some of the people (again, not in the immediate vicinity) have almost soured before me. I needed to leave everything where it was, to know that I had some good feelings toward it. I did just that. I will miss it, but I think it is the best decision I have made since I have been up here.
I'm happy to know that a poem a former role model once gave me still applies in my life. Part of it is as follows:

"...Believe in the incredible power
of the human mind.
Of doing somethng that makes a difference.
Of working hard.
Of laughing and hoping.
Of lazy afternoons.
Of lasting friendships.
Of all the things that will cross your path.
The start of something new
brings the hope of something great.
Anything is possible.
There is only one you.
And you will pass this way only once.
Do it right"

I'm glad I let go.

Anyways, no more retarded sappiness...It's Christmas time bitches!

Oh and before I go, I was "tagged" (but refuse to tag others...I hate that game) to "list ten thing that make you happy in no particular order"

1. MY DOG
2. Getting up early the day after Christmas and going to Perimeter Mall to go crazy at Crate and Barrel and Bloomingdales
3. Dialog! (and I don't mean conversation)
4. Being told I am beautiful by a man (and having them actually mean it, not a concept I am used to)
5. a bath
6. anything retro
7. nature
8. reading for pleasure
9. knowing I have friends who I've known since I was a kid
10. stars

I love random stuff...

1) My uncle once: Was a student at Harvard
2) Never in my life: have I been skiing
3) When I was five: I wanted to be named Tiffany
4) High school was: good…in retrospect
5) Fire is: something I don’t want to be close to…
6) I once saw: David Sedaris talk about animal porn
7) There’s this woman I know who: was in the army in Isreal
8) Once, at a bar: I was told I looked like this guy’s sexy secretary
9) By noon I’m usually: a bit tired
10) Last night: I was in class
11) If I only had: money
12) Next time I go to church: will be on Sunday
13) What worries me most: a big decision I made that I have to deal with on Saturday
14) When I turn my head left: i see the couch side
15) When I turn my head right: i see the chair on the other side of the room
16) You know I'm lying when: usually the tone of my voice sets it off
17) What I miss most about the eighties: crimping hair
18) If I were a character written by Shakespeare, I’d be: Kate from Taming of the Shrew..haha
19) By this time next year: I hopefully will be working in some kind of library as a professional
20) I have a hard time understanding: infidelity
21) You know I like you if: I avoid you and act shy
22) If I won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: my mom
23) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: different subject areas
24) Take my advice, never: give people multiple chances…three strikes and you’re out
25) My ideal breakfast is: tutto bene!
26) If you visit my hometown, I suggest you go to: um, Stone Mountain?
27) Why doesn't everyone: take a nap
28) If you spend the night at my house: don’t kick me out of the bed!
29) I’d stop my wedding: if i found out: he cheated on me
30) The world could do without: romance novels
31) My favorite blonde is: strawberry blonde.
32) If I do anything well, it’s: worry
33) And by the way: School’s almost out!

"It's peanut butter jelly time!"

Of course Thanksgiving beak went by in a flash...and I had an extra day and everything! Whatever...it just means that christmas break will be here soon. 5 more classes, 4 more assignments, 12 days until I am done with classes, and 21 days until I go home to Georgia. Then one semester left...the end is so in sight.

A bunch of stuff has happened lately, and luckily I have had time to think things through.

But what happened during break? Hmmm...purchase of the Martha Stewart Baking Handbook, too much driving to Illinois and Indianapolis, a great talk with my aunt who lives in California (the one I don't see much), a practical job offer, a proposition at a gas station in Martinsville (and I called him a rogue...ew), pictures on campus, trying to be a "model", Harry Potter, Family Guy, tibetan food, and sunday brunch. Overall, good times. Tomorrow it's back to work and school...I can see the stress level rising now.

I have decided not to label people as "idols", or "rolemodels" anymore. I mean, they're human, so there's no point...mistakes are bound to happen. Plus if they're not idolized, then I won't be disappointed when weird things happen. Admiration is a great thing...I'll stick with it, rather than promoting them to the "rolemodel" level.

I also need a new hobby...does anybody have any ideas?

Oh and if you saw last week's Family Guy and were greatly confused by Brian's dressing up as a banana and singing some song about peanut butter and jelly, this should clear things up...thanks to Erik.

A Dream Worthy of Posting...

I was happy to find out that I don't have to go to Northview this week...I thought I had to go tonight, but Jon V. and Jim are in town, so I didn't! I decided to supplement some of my time with a nap...I dream a lot, and most of them I remember. This one is too weird to not share.

At some point toward the end of the dream, I turned into Harry Potter (I've been re-reading the books and obsessing over the movie). Hermione, Ron, and all of the Order, Deatheaters, and professors were around (I guess you have to know the books to really follow me). For some reason we were having a baseball tournament. By baseball, I simply mean a pitcher and a batter. No outfield or first, second, third base...basically just hitting the ball (which was a blue tennis ball, by the way).

So I am Harry Potter and it's raining and dark outside, and I am set to bat with Voldemort as the pitcher. Why he has been invited to this, I have no clue. Mad-Eye Moody and Hermione come up separately to give me bats (which are wusthoff, sankoutu knives-my knife of choice...in cooking). I am Harry, and stubbborn, thinking that I can take on Voldemort with my wand...I don't need a knife to do the work. Voldemort finally shows up, but he isn't the snake-like messed up non humanish existence, he's my FAVORITE tech from Crown 2002 (nobody from crown 2002 reads this, so more confusion...), Andria, who is a girl. I adored her, so why she is Voldemort, I have no clue. She is accompanied by some trendy high school girl wearning knee socks and talking on a cell phone (Peter Pettrigrew???).

So I am batting with a knife...she throws the ball and I catch it in the inside of my elbow and somehow hurl it out to make it look like I hit it. I scream to my audience, who is the Order, to save me, and I get no response. Andria goes crazy and lunges after me. I am confused because my audience is frozen about 20 feet away from me. I manage to pin down Andria/Voldemort...her eyes start bulging and she's blaming the frozen audience and his lack of power on me, because that's where all of it has been transfered. By that time I am being strangled and I freak out and wake up.

Interpret THAT dream!

In case you were wondering...

Check this out.

Class discussion was interesting to say the least yesterday in my Information for the Humanities class. Yay for the performing arts.

Oh, and it snowed for the first time this school year yesterday...yay? Yes, yay, as long as I'm not driving.

Filling the empty place...

Every time I drive back up to Indiana my demeanor sort of sinks. Part of my heart is still in Georgia. It's not Georgia itself, but I pine for something I once had, but no longer experience. Some sort of unconditional love...a cuddle buddy...a friend...a fighter. I miss my damn dog. I have always been, and always will be a dog person. I got to see my dog a lot in college, since I lived only an hour away from home. My longest period away from him were the two summers I marched corps. My senior year I taught at my high school, so I was able to see him multiple times each week. Now it's been 3 months and I miss him. He just turned 13 and has always been "crotchety"...he bit Lauren, him and Adrian have always been enemies, every boy that comes into the house is under his close watch. But I love him, and miss him greatly. A dog would not have been the smartest choice for me in grad school...especially since I drive a lot and go periods of time away from the apartment. But I have made the decision to buy a dog as soon as I move to my new place, wherever I will live, after graduation. I think I am ready for the responsibility, and it will fill the gap that has been missing in my heart ever since I moved up here.

So on to some normal stuff. I spent a lot of time in the bathroom today...praying that I didn't die in a horrific tornado. Two major tornado warnings and scary sirens. Why don't I know where my apartment's storm shelters are located? Of course I am on the third floor too, so the only option was the bathroom. It would suck to have my last life vision to be a flying toilet.

Yesterday was really weird on far too many levels which I will not discuss. I went to Northview and ended up running rehearsal by myself. I haven't run a dance class in two years. I definitely enjoy the technician existence. The kids were at least in semi-good spirits last night.

School has been fine...only 9 classes left...3 major projects, none of which I have started :).

Who is excited for Harry Potter?!?! I have to wait a freaking week and day after it is released because I told Philip I would see it with him. The Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe comes out December 9th (I am equally excited). I can't believe I haven't seen a movie in the theater since summer 2004. Yes, I have problems.

Something to leave you with...a quote by Honoré de Balzac :
"If she had been happy she would have been enchanting; for happiness makes women's poetry, and style and fashion are just the powder on their skins"
This is saved for a later dissertaion dealing with men :).

"...there is a feeling that you should just go home and spend a lifetime finding out just what that is..." -Jump Little Children

I amaze myself every Wednesday. I mean, it could be worse. But class, then work, then class (12 hour day)...on twoish hours of sleep isn't great. I always get great anxiety for presentations. If I have notes, I am perfectly fine. There was only one incident last year where I sucked when giving a presentation where I wasn't allowed to use notes. I was fine today, but I still dreamt about it and had to wake up constantly to assure myself that I was prepared. Things went well for presenting my database, minus the forgetting to search in OneSearch, but it proved to be the crack addict that all federated search engines are anyways, so it didn't matter. I can't promise that it was A material, but I am happy to be done.

This past week and a half has been interesting. One great thing to have come out of my absence from blogging has been hanging out with new friends. Too bad the majority of them are graduating in December...but oh well, if I can't become an adult, at least I can admire people who are taking the plunge. I have actually been "out" two weekends in a row, which is quite surprising. This weekend, Susan, Mary, Kate, and I might all go see Andrew sing, which would be really cool. I'm really going to miss this place come May when I have to leave.

I'm still amazed that I haven't driven home to Georgia yet. Even though the best friends and I keep in touch almost regularly (especially Adrian), I haven't felt the need to be there. It has been ultimately nice to start over. I don't have to dwell on color guard or drum corps, or how people have changed (or is it me?) and how I view them in a complete opposite light than I did as little as six months ago, or even have to wonder what it would be like somewhere else. I do regret missing out on seeing my nephew grow up (yay digital cameras), and not being there to deal with illness of a close one.

My level of "slacker-ness" has reached new heights. I have finished the majority of work, minus final projects and such. Lokman cancelled our Dialog midterm...and angel sent from Heaven that man is. So now I can relax a bit and try to concentrate on things. I also set my work schedule at the library for next semester to coincide with my class days.

I really didn't mean to write about the fundamental fuddy-duddy stuff about my life. I do want to discuss my notion of "home" at some point, which was where I was originally attempting to aim. I have given up all hopes of this being some intellectual opinionated blog, so deal with my stupidity!

Happy Halloween

I'm such a proud aunt!!!

Actions have consequences...first rule of life. And the second rule is this - you are the only one responsible for your own actions. -Holly Lisle

Wow Wow Wow. Friday was a wonderful day...I know, that never happens. I wake up and check my e-mail only to find out that my cataloging class was cancelled, which was great, but I still had to go to work. I had to pull pre-1821 books from the fourth floor, which sucks because they're all dusty and nasty. But I got to listen to my ipod and had a nice chance encounter. I finally got my pathfinder back, in which I was extremely pleased. I think that is it for the day, but it was enough to keep me happy.

Saturday had its ups and downs...I worked on an essay all day, which sucks. Georgia lost to Florida, which sucks. Susan's lasagna was a success, as was the rest of the food (I made diva cupcakes). Then four of us decided to go out. Susan was a devil trying to be an angel. Her boyfriend, Erik, was Magnum PI (mustache and everything), Jackie was a cowgirl, and I was a naughty business girl. Kristina and Chris came and met us, so our group grew. We had a lot of fun, but I was definitely reminded WHY I don't drink much. My mom says our wierd tolerance runs in the family and that it gets even lower as we get older. I know I was able to handle more in college...although weighing 20 lbs. lighter has to have something to do with it as well. I am once again lucky to have such good friends. The crazily placed pictures (per Sus) are as follows (L to R, top to bottom)
1. Me fulfilling my wishes...taking matters "into my own hands"
2. The girls--Susan, Kristina, Jackie, and me
3. The group
4. Susan wanted a picture of me flicking her off
5. Susan and a cherry
6. Erik in Jackie's cowgirl hat with his rum and coke
7. Me and the walking stick (yes!)

Overall a good night (with a couple of downers).

Everybody needs a fun weekend once in a while.

Everybody likes to go their own way--to choose their own time and manner of devotion. -Jane Austen

My father woke me up this morning (I get to sleep in on Thursdays). I thought something was terribly wrong, but he just called to ask me if I wanted to go travelling right before christmas. So right now, if everything goes well, I'll be in San Francisco for a few days before Christmas...I love that place and haven't been there in 3 years, so I am excited. Arizona is plan B (which I would be psyched about, since I haven't been there). I am continually amazed with the generosity of my parents, even if the plane tickets are free.

So I'm sitting on my couch all excited, when something crawls on me. It's fairly big, but I'm still sleepy and can't see well. I brush it off and it runs under the coffee table like lightning. Perfect. I HATE bugs. I come into the room a few minutes later and lo and behold...it's one of the cricket/grasshopper/alien hybrids that have been scaring the crap out of me from my mailbox. Killing that bastard was nasty...so big. Did I mention how much I hate bugs? I am taking applications for a husband...if you're not comfortable killing bugs, you will be automatically eliminated.

I have absolultely LOVED this week. I kind of miss marching band, but my sanity has been salvaged simply because I haven't had to go to rehearsal. I am also *gasp* going out to the bars this Saturday night...and I will be dressed up in costume (after a pumpkin carving lasagna party). Don't worry, I will take pictures.

Kristina stopped by today. I have been terrible at keeping up with friends lately. My main lines of communication have been devoted to a few individuals. I still talk to Lauren and Krista some, but everybody else outside of Bloomington has suffered tremendously. Heck, I talk to Susan's boyfriend more than I do some of my closest friends from home...and he lives in freaking Chicago.

I have a new obsession with Target. Susan hasn't been helping me much lately because we keep forgetting stuff. But I am not allowed to visit that wonderful store for the next three weeks. Bad Traci.

I'm ready to graduate. I want a job. I want to have a stable future.

But I am enjoying my life :)

Oh yeah, what the hell is a fall break?

Two things because they're super fun!

1. Open up the music player on your computer.
2. Set it to play your entire music collection.
3. Hit the shuffle command.
4. Tell us the title of the next 20 songs that show up (with their musicians), no matter how embarrassing. That's right, no skipping that Carpenters tune that will totally destroy your hip credibility. It's time for total musical honesty.
5. If you get the same artist twice, you may skip the second (or third, or etc.) occurrences. You don't have to, but since randomness could mean you end up with a list of twenty songs with five artists, you can if you'd like.

1. Glass, Concrete, and Stone - David Byrne
2. Sun - Live
3. One Way Out -Allman Brothers
4. Blacking Out the Friction - Death Cab for Cutie
5. Dinner at Eight - Rufus Wainwright
6. Lucky Trumble -Nancy Wilson
7. Annie Waits - Ben Folds
8. Dig Your Grave - Modest Mouse
9. Don't Panic -Coldplay
10. Seeing Things for the First Time -Black Crowes
11. 11:11- Rufus Waineright
12. Lullaby- Bregovic
13. Dim and the Dark - Jump
14. A Whisper -Coldplay
15. I'm Pulling Through- Diana Krall
16. This Place is a Prison- Postal Service
17. Brisk Young Sailor- UGA School of Music
18. Young Hearts Run Free- Kym Mazelle
19. Strange Fruit- Billie Holiday
20. Mary Jane's Last Dance- Tom Petty


And another...


If I were a month, I'd be March...unpredictable and lots of Green
If I were a day of the week, I'd be Wednedsay...hump day!
If I were a color, I'd be Orange...because I've just become so attached to it.
If I were an animal, I'd be a puppy...kind of floppy you know?
If I were a movie, I'd be Baz's Romeo and Juliet...because my mind is crazy like that
If I were a class, I'd be a Online Search and Retrieval...you think it's easy, but it's really hard.
If I were a shoe, I'd be anything Cole Haan.
If I were an ice cream flavor, I'd be Sherbet!
If I were a place, I'd be Crater Lake...deep!
If I were an element, I'd be Helium...light
If I were a perfume, I'd be Body by Victoria, because it was meant for my body
If I were a state, I'd be Vermont...snowy, slightly liberal, and Ben and Jerry's!
If I were a country, I'd be France, duh (but like 17th century France, not France today)
If I were an instrument, I'd be a cow bell...the best one ever
If I were a season, I'd be fall...all of my colors
If I were a body part, I'd be hands so i could touch everything
If I were a flavor, I'd be ginger...a bit of a bite
If I were an alcoholic drink, I'd be a longisland...a mix of everything
If I were a shape, I'd be a pentagon!
If I were a number, I'd be 18
If I were a president, I'd be Theodore Roosevelt...yay for national parks
If I were a beauty product, I'd be foundation:)
If I were a book, I'd be The Lion Witch and Wardrobe
If I were a letter of the alphabet, I'd be T!
If I were a word, I'd be superfluous
If I were a store, I'd be J Crew, duh
If I were a song, I'd be Reflecting Light by Sam Phillips
If I were an item of clothing, I'd be a shirt
If I were a clothing line, I'd be J Crew again
If I were a facial feature, I'd be expressive eyes
If I were an emotion, I'd be thoughtful
If I were a sound, I'd be a sigh
If I were a scent, I'd be color guard and cookies
If I were a car, I'd be a CRV
If I were a fruit, I'd be a peach
If I were a planet, I'd be Neptune
If I were a feeling, I'd be amazed
If I were a bone, I'd be humurous
If I were a flower, I'd be a tulip
If I were jewelry, I'd be any necklace
If I were a show, I'd be Gilmore Girls
If I were you, I'd be confused

The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want. -Ben Stein

Funny thing about doors closing. I had my last (well hopefully my last) experience with marching band today. While I technically ended marching band two years ago (the last time i actually participated), Northview has definitely felt like home to me. Even though I play a "non-essential" part, I have really enjoyed these past two seasons. The band received 4th today at state, which came as quite a shock, especially after placing first in all captions, except for one. But I was so impressed with how the band and staff took the surprise, almost more than the great performance they gave at 10am this morning. I will miss marching band color guard so much, but I hope this was the last one...time to become an adult. On to winterguard now?

This week was interesting. It finally got cold up here, so I guess this is the beginning of my end. I think this is as far north as I can go (with the exception of the north east). I really dislike winter and am not looking forward to it. School is going to blow this week...so much to do...so little motivation. I had the strangest Thursday/Friday. It started when I got home from Northview. I found this random poem and became overwroght with emotion. I went to bed in such a state, and slept so soundly that I slept through my alarm on Friday, making me almost 30 minutes to work. I am a very light sleeper, which made it odd...and I didn't "wake up" until sometime in the middle of my cataloging class (I guess Dewey Decimal Classification will do that). Last night was an inpromptu visit to Target with Sus, then watching Finding Neverland, which I hadn't yet seen. Today was state finals.

I registered for classes for my LAST semester at school on Friday...right now, I'm only taking computer classes (database design and web design), which will be helpful, but extremely difficult. Plus, with one less class to worry about, I will have more time to concentrate on the two. I'm so excited...the end is in sight!

I'm trying to "go with the flow" in a lot of situations right now...it's definitely a good philosophy for school, definitely a good philosophy for work, and has been for other things too. It's amazing how much happier I am this year...and I really think it has nothing to do with knowing what's going on...it has everything to do with my confidence. I'm still a bit self-depricating, but for the first time in two or three years, I can say that I have myself back.

"Two Headed Calf"

Tomorrow when the farm boy finds this
freak of nature, they will wrap his body
in newspaper and carry him to the museum

But tonight, he is alive and in the north
field with his mother. It is a perfect
summer evening : the moon rising over
the orchard, the wind in the grass.
and as he stares into the sky, there
are twice as many stars as usual.

-Laura Gilpin

If my hands are fully occupied in holding on to something, I can neither give nor receive. -Dorothe Solle

So first off, congratulations to some SLIS friends on the marriage this past week. How exciting to see two people in love commit themselves. I get to attend a wedding for another SLIS friend in November, so "love is all around".

Now that I have succeeded in planting the Mary Tyler Moore theme song in my head, I shall switch subjects. The weather up here has been warm, so I can safely say that my last season of marching band has been awesome climate-wise. I think this weekend will be the turning point though and everything will go to crap. I like winter...I like snow...but it gets old really fast, especially post-Christmas. I always deem February my worse month, because bad stuff usually happens...but 2005 showed me that April, May, June, July, and August were far worse than February (although it was bad too). So I guess I shouldn't dread any month and take things as they come.

I have successfully made it two months without having to make a trip to Georgia. Two more and I will have doubled my record. I'm so proud of myself. I'm even staying after school ends in December to work.

I have some things to look forward to...I have a visitor for Thanksgiving (spent a hefty amount to come to Indiana!). I have been promised a leprechaun from John's trip to Ireland/Germany this week. My New Years is in the works. Winterguard starts soon (do I look forward to that?). Next semester I only have to take two classes. I graduate in May. Job hunting. Dog Buying.

School has been a female dog lately...but I'm doing well, so that is all that matters.

The above quote kind of reminded me of some things...I hold on to what I feel is failure in hopes of someday fixing it. Letting go does seem the better option. Why do I have to be a perfectionist?

Well I should go and finish dialog stuff...

Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else. -Judy Garland

So it's Thursday. I just got back from the Northview Party Room. I was so happy to be able to go this week...since I was so stressed with school the past few weeks. This week has been great...I had a lull from school (that will quickly pick up next week to the usual stress). I also did great on two separate assignments in school. Having the weekend with my parents was wonderful. The slacker-ness has continued on into the week...but I actually have had the time to be that way.

So I realize that I am pretty content up here. I like my program, I like Bloomington...seriously, so much prettier than the already beautiful UGA. I like my jobs...simply for the fact that I am working for great people. Seriously, this job at the library has helped me understand the inner workings of a large academic library. The Northview job has given me a chance to be around Michael and Katie for two extra years and meet such wonderful people as the Medworth's and Jon Vanderkolff, etc. I am finally doing something I want in school. I have good friends here. I keep in touch with my friends back home and elsewhere. I have as my friend and I have been discussing "immediate future plans".

It's funny because I realize that the "little things" not only make me extremely happy, but have been the cause for my demise in the past. I do tend to dwell, especially in things that I consider failures. Grades for instance...I freak out if I see anything below an A. I didn't do this in undergrad, so why now? Guys are another issue. I don't want to do the bad things to a guy that were done to me....it would be hypocritical. It's hard for me to think about anything with a guy as not serious. I don't think I will ever be capable of casual dating, but I have noticed myself flirting with people lately (even if they're far away). It's healthy for me to not be so realtionship-oriented. I smile a LOT more...makes waiting for "Mr. Right" so much better. So, the transformation of the association of the little things from bad to good has made a positive effect on my life. Now it's on to concentrating on hopeful visits from friends, other possible future encounters, and other things in which I am being awfuly vague...

But I should go and get stuff done. I can't believe marching band is almost over. Funny how winterguard will start the next week...so I'm not done with this color guard thing until April.

Take Judy Garland's advice and "carpe diem...seize the day boys...make your lives extraordinary".

As you become more clear about who you really are, you'll be better able to decide what is best for you - the first time around. -Oprah Winfrey

So true Oprah... :)

First off, I would like to thank Gilmore Girls for getting me through last week and the whole pathfinder fiasco. I think having all of the witticism in the background has ultimately made me smarter. Hey, we all have guilty pleasures.

The amount of work I have had this semester still amazes me. I think Wednesday night was the pinnacle of graduate school stress. Susan, Jackie, and I stayed after to finish a problem for an assignment due this comming week. We messed up slightly on a problem, and had to start all over again. We had to turn in another assignment, which my partner and I (notice the "and I" Susan) didn't fully complete (we left out a part of a question). The professor said he was going to stay until we finished the problem on which we were working. All I can remember were my eyes welling up with tears, but never actually crying. I thought my brain was going to explode. Susan even came over afterwards and looked over my cataloging assignment...I was thinking about the humanities/dialog/oclc for 13 straight hours. No kids, don't stay in school...it isn't the "fun" that college was. You don't have free weekends, unless you want to get behind, and it isn't the constant party...unless you're just damn lucky.

I think the bitterness is coming from the fact that I haven't felt any satisfaction with my classes yet. I like all of them...and I feel like I am learning stuff...each class seems to have a purpose...but each has its terrible quirk. I'll be over it in December, I promise. It's just hard watching myself go through it, as well as my friends. I was listening to my friend Jeff this morning talk about all of the stuff he has to do. I listened to mary snyder this morning and her theory on our info. in the humanities class. Susan just called me worried about our client search project. geez. I'll quit complaining. At least I'm not alone.

Despite the stress, life has been pleasant lately. My parents visited Friday and Saturday. I love my parents...I have never met people more selfless in my life. I hope to do the same for my kids someday. We shopped in Indianapolis yesterday and just hung out the rest of the time. I don't know what I would do in life if I didn't have a good family.

Gilmore Girls isn't the only thing that has gotten me through the week. I've been reacquainting myself with my past...past people to be exact. Friends have been getting me through who live as close as down the street, and as far away as the great white north, (and red and black south). It's been nice, especially since I lost one of my best friends a couple of months ago.

Okay, I'm back to the real world...can you believe it's already October?

Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets. -Arthur Miller

I have no clue why I am updating right now...I am in the middle of craziness and I should be doing work because I will regret sleep tomorrow. But Philip informed me that I don't update enough, so I guess I will give it a try.

Busy is the best word to describe my life. I am kind of liking it that way because things go by fast and fast means closer to graduation. School is stressful. I have a pathfinder
due tomorrow along with a presentation that I am going to wing...I'll be able to read the thing while I present, so I'm not too worried. I also have an assignment due tomorrow in my other class, which I have yet to complete. My client thing is still in the background and cataloging has definitely taken the back burner this semester...oh crap I have an assignment due in there on Friday. I start working on some french project at library work soon, so that should be fun. I really thought last semester was the pinnicle of stress, but even with two less classes, this semester takes the cheese (or whatever cliché that is...I am so bad with them).

Northview is going well. I like going to the contests a lot...I have only missed Greenwood so far, and will miss Carmel this weekend. I am actually kind of sad. The show is great, and I am so glad that this will be my last impression of marching band. Last Saturday as we were glittering them up (they wear lots of glitter), one of the girls called me over...she said she heard a rumor that I was leaving after winter. I told her about the whole graduating thing and people actually started telling me to not leave...something to the effect that they think they will bring in somebody mean to replace me. It was so nice though...I was flattered.

My parents are coming up this weekend and I can't tell you how excited I am...I am so lucky to have great parents. It's great to have the whole unconditional love thing, and my mom helped me get through some stuff when I was home in August. The whole teenage angst thing is definitely gone now.

I apparantly have a small fan club at the University of Iowa now...haha thanks to my friend Susan. We have been kind of going through this stress thing together...it's going slowly but surely.

To add to the school stress...I feel like Violet Beauregarde in full blueberry stage right now (minus the color blue). I know I look it too.

Anyways, I updated, and will regret it tomorrow when I am tired and cranky.

And I will get to Alaska.

31 Days