Happy Halloween

I'm such a proud aunt!!!

Actions have consequences...first rule of life. And the second rule is this - you are the only one responsible for your own actions. -Holly Lisle

Wow Wow Wow. Friday was a wonderful day...I know, that never happens. I wake up and check my e-mail only to find out that my cataloging class was cancelled, which was great, but I still had to go to work. I had to pull pre-1821 books from the fourth floor, which sucks because they're all dusty and nasty. But I got to listen to my ipod and had a nice chance encounter. I finally got my pathfinder back, in which I was extremely pleased. I think that is it for the day, but it was enough to keep me happy.

Saturday had its ups and downs...I worked on an essay all day, which sucks. Georgia lost to Florida, which sucks. Susan's lasagna was a success, as was the rest of the food (I made diva cupcakes). Then four of us decided to go out. Susan was a devil trying to be an angel. Her boyfriend, Erik, was Magnum PI (mustache and everything), Jackie was a cowgirl, and I was a naughty business girl. Kristina and Chris came and met us, so our group grew. We had a lot of fun, but I was definitely reminded WHY I don't drink much. My mom says our wierd tolerance runs in the family and that it gets even lower as we get older. I know I was able to handle more in college...although weighing 20 lbs. lighter has to have something to do with it as well. I am once again lucky to have such good friends. The crazily placed pictures (per Sus) are as follows (L to R, top to bottom)
1. Me fulfilling my wishes...taking matters "into my own hands"
2. The girls--Susan, Kristina, Jackie, and me
3. The group
4. Susan wanted a picture of me flicking her off
5. Susan and a cherry
6. Erik in Jackie's cowgirl hat with his rum and coke
7. Me and the walking stick (yes!)

Overall a good night (with a couple of downers).

Everybody needs a fun weekend once in a while.

Everybody likes to go their own way--to choose their own time and manner of devotion. -Jane Austen

My father woke me up this morning (I get to sleep in on Thursdays). I thought something was terribly wrong, but he just called to ask me if I wanted to go travelling right before christmas. So right now, if everything goes well, I'll be in San Francisco for a few days before Christmas...I love that place and haven't been there in 3 years, so I am excited. Arizona is plan B (which I would be psyched about, since I haven't been there). I am continually amazed with the generosity of my parents, even if the plane tickets are free.

So I'm sitting on my couch all excited, when something crawls on me. It's fairly big, but I'm still sleepy and can't see well. I brush it off and it runs under the coffee table like lightning. Perfect. I HATE bugs. I come into the room a few minutes later and lo and behold...it's one of the cricket/grasshopper/alien hybrids that have been scaring the crap out of me from my mailbox. Killing that bastard was nasty...so big. Did I mention how much I hate bugs? I am taking applications for a husband...if you're not comfortable killing bugs, you will be automatically eliminated.

I have absolultely LOVED this week. I kind of miss marching band, but my sanity has been salvaged simply because I haven't had to go to rehearsal. I am also *gasp* going out to the bars this Saturday night...and I will be dressed up in costume (after a pumpkin carving lasagna party). Don't worry, I will take pictures.

Kristina stopped by today. I have been terrible at keeping up with friends lately. My main lines of communication have been devoted to a few individuals. I still talk to Lauren and Krista some, but everybody else outside of Bloomington has suffered tremendously. Heck, I talk to Susan's boyfriend more than I do some of my closest friends from home...and he lives in freaking Chicago.

I have a new obsession with Target. Susan hasn't been helping me much lately because we keep forgetting stuff. But I am not allowed to visit that wonderful store for the next three weeks. Bad Traci.

I'm ready to graduate. I want a job. I want to have a stable future.

But I am enjoying my life :)

Oh yeah, what the hell is a fall break?

Two things because they're super fun!

1. Open up the music player on your computer.
2. Set it to play your entire music collection.
3. Hit the shuffle command.
4. Tell us the title of the next 20 songs that show up (with their musicians), no matter how embarrassing. That's right, no skipping that Carpenters tune that will totally destroy your hip credibility. It's time for total musical honesty.
5. If you get the same artist twice, you may skip the second (or third, or etc.) occurrences. You don't have to, but since randomness could mean you end up with a list of twenty songs with five artists, you can if you'd like.

1. Glass, Concrete, and Stone - David Byrne
2. Sun - Live
3. One Way Out -Allman Brothers
4. Blacking Out the Friction - Death Cab for Cutie
5. Dinner at Eight - Rufus Wainwright
6. Lucky Trumble -Nancy Wilson
7. Annie Waits - Ben Folds
8. Dig Your Grave - Modest Mouse
9. Don't Panic -Coldplay
10. Seeing Things for the First Time -Black Crowes
11. 11:11- Rufus Waineright
12. Lullaby- Bregovic
13. Dim and the Dark - Jump
14. A Whisper -Coldplay
15. I'm Pulling Through- Diana Krall
16. This Place is a Prison- Postal Service
17. Brisk Young Sailor- UGA School of Music
18. Young Hearts Run Free- Kym Mazelle
19. Strange Fruit- Billie Holiday
20. Mary Jane's Last Dance- Tom Petty


And another...


If I were a month, I'd be March...unpredictable and lots of Green
If I were a day of the week, I'd be Wednedsay...hump day!
If I were a color, I'd be Orange...because I've just become so attached to it.
If I were an animal, I'd be a puppy...kind of floppy you know?
If I were a movie, I'd be Baz's Romeo and Juliet...because my mind is crazy like that
If I were a class, I'd be a Online Search and Retrieval...you think it's easy, but it's really hard.
If I were a shoe, I'd be anything Cole Haan.
If I were an ice cream flavor, I'd be Sherbet!
If I were a place, I'd be Crater Lake...deep!
If I were an element, I'd be Helium...light
If I were a perfume, I'd be Body by Victoria, because it was meant for my body
If I were a state, I'd be Vermont...snowy, slightly liberal, and Ben and Jerry's!
If I were a country, I'd be France, duh (but like 17th century France, not France today)
If I were an instrument, I'd be a cow bell...the best one ever
If I were a season, I'd be fall...all of my colors
If I were a body part, I'd be hands so i could touch everything
If I were a flavor, I'd be ginger...a bit of a bite
If I were an alcoholic drink, I'd be a longisland...a mix of everything
If I were a shape, I'd be a pentagon!
If I were a number, I'd be 18
If I were a president, I'd be Theodore Roosevelt...yay for national parks
If I were a beauty product, I'd be foundation:)
If I were a book, I'd be The Lion Witch and Wardrobe
If I were a letter of the alphabet, I'd be T!
If I were a word, I'd be superfluous
If I were a store, I'd be J Crew, duh
If I were a song, I'd be Reflecting Light by Sam Phillips
If I were an item of clothing, I'd be a shirt
If I were a clothing line, I'd be J Crew again
If I were a facial feature, I'd be expressive eyes
If I were an emotion, I'd be thoughtful
If I were a sound, I'd be a sigh
If I were a scent, I'd be color guard and cookies
If I were a car, I'd be a CRV
If I were a fruit, I'd be a peach
If I were a planet, I'd be Neptune
If I were a feeling, I'd be amazed
If I were a bone, I'd be humurous
If I were a flower, I'd be a tulip
If I were jewelry, I'd be any necklace
If I were a show, I'd be Gilmore Girls
If I were you, I'd be confused

The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want. -Ben Stein

Funny thing about doors closing. I had my last (well hopefully my last) experience with marching band today. While I technically ended marching band two years ago (the last time i actually participated), Northview has definitely felt like home to me. Even though I play a "non-essential" part, I have really enjoyed these past two seasons. The band received 4th today at state, which came as quite a shock, especially after placing first in all captions, except for one. But I was so impressed with how the band and staff took the surprise, almost more than the great performance they gave at 10am this morning. I will miss marching band color guard so much, but I hope this was the last one...time to become an adult. On to winterguard now?

This week was interesting. It finally got cold up here, so I guess this is the beginning of my end. I think this is as far north as I can go (with the exception of the north east). I really dislike winter and am not looking forward to it. School is going to blow this week...so much to do...so little motivation. I had the strangest Thursday/Friday. It started when I got home from Northview. I found this random poem and became overwroght with emotion. I went to bed in such a state, and slept so soundly that I slept through my alarm on Friday, making me almost 30 minutes to work. I am a very light sleeper, which made it odd...and I didn't "wake up" until sometime in the middle of my cataloging class (I guess Dewey Decimal Classification will do that). Last night was an inpromptu visit to Target with Sus, then watching Finding Neverland, which I hadn't yet seen. Today was state finals.

I registered for classes for my LAST semester at school on Friday...right now, I'm only taking computer classes (database design and web design), which will be helpful, but extremely difficult. Plus, with one less class to worry about, I will have more time to concentrate on the two. I'm so excited...the end is in sight!

I'm trying to "go with the flow" in a lot of situations right now...it's definitely a good philosophy for school, definitely a good philosophy for work, and has been for other things too. It's amazing how much happier I am this year...and I really think it has nothing to do with knowing what's going on...it has everything to do with my confidence. I'm still a bit self-depricating, but for the first time in two or three years, I can say that I have myself back.

"Two Headed Calf"

Tomorrow when the farm boy finds this
freak of nature, they will wrap his body
in newspaper and carry him to the museum

But tonight, he is alive and in the north
field with his mother. It is a perfect
summer evening : the moon rising over
the orchard, the wind in the grass.
and as he stares into the sky, there
are twice as many stars as usual.

-Laura Gilpin

If my hands are fully occupied in holding on to something, I can neither give nor receive. -Dorothe Solle

So first off, congratulations to some SLIS friends on the marriage this past week. How exciting to see two people in love commit themselves. I get to attend a wedding for another SLIS friend in November, so "love is all around".

Now that I have succeeded in planting the Mary Tyler Moore theme song in my head, I shall switch subjects. The weather up here has been warm, so I can safely say that my last season of marching band has been awesome climate-wise. I think this weekend will be the turning point though and everything will go to crap. I like winter...I like snow...but it gets old really fast, especially post-Christmas. I always deem February my worse month, because bad stuff usually happens...but 2005 showed me that April, May, June, July, and August were far worse than February (although it was bad too). So I guess I shouldn't dread any month and take things as they come.

I have successfully made it two months without having to make a trip to Georgia. Two more and I will have doubled my record. I'm so proud of myself. I'm even staying after school ends in December to work.

I have some things to look forward to...I have a visitor for Thanksgiving (spent a hefty amount to come to Indiana!). I have been promised a leprechaun from John's trip to Ireland/Germany this week. My New Years is in the works. Winterguard starts soon (do I look forward to that?). Next semester I only have to take two classes. I graduate in May. Job hunting. Dog Buying.

School has been a female dog lately...but I'm doing well, so that is all that matters.

The above quote kind of reminded me of some things...I hold on to what I feel is failure in hopes of someday fixing it. Letting go does seem the better option. Why do I have to be a perfectionist?

Well I should go and finish dialog stuff...

Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else. -Judy Garland

So it's Thursday. I just got back from the Northview Party Room. I was so happy to be able to go this week...since I was so stressed with school the past few weeks. This week has been great...I had a lull from school (that will quickly pick up next week to the usual stress). I also did great on two separate assignments in school. Having the weekend with my parents was wonderful. The slacker-ness has continued on into the week...but I actually have had the time to be that way.

So I realize that I am pretty content up here. I like my program, I like Bloomington...seriously, so much prettier than the already beautiful UGA. I like my jobs...simply for the fact that I am working for great people. Seriously, this job at the library has helped me understand the inner workings of a large academic library. The Northview job has given me a chance to be around Michael and Katie for two extra years and meet such wonderful people as the Medworth's and Jon Vanderkolff, etc. I am finally doing something I want in school. I have good friends here. I keep in touch with my friends back home and elsewhere. I have as my friend and I have been discussing "immediate future plans".

It's funny because I realize that the "little things" not only make me extremely happy, but have been the cause for my demise in the past. I do tend to dwell, especially in things that I consider failures. Grades for instance...I freak out if I see anything below an A. I didn't do this in undergrad, so why now? Guys are another issue. I don't want to do the bad things to a guy that were done to me....it would be hypocritical. It's hard for me to think about anything with a guy as not serious. I don't think I will ever be capable of casual dating, but I have noticed myself flirting with people lately (even if they're far away). It's healthy for me to not be so realtionship-oriented. I smile a LOT more...makes waiting for "Mr. Right" so much better. So, the transformation of the association of the little things from bad to good has made a positive effect on my life. Now it's on to concentrating on hopeful visits from friends, other possible future encounters, and other things in which I am being awfuly vague...

But I should go and get stuff done. I can't believe marching band is almost over. Funny how winterguard will start the next week...so I'm not done with this color guard thing until April.

Take Judy Garland's advice and "carpe diem...seize the day boys...make your lives extraordinary".

As you become more clear about who you really are, you'll be better able to decide what is best for you - the first time around. -Oprah Winfrey

So true Oprah... :)

First off, I would like to thank Gilmore Girls for getting me through last week and the whole pathfinder fiasco. I think having all of the witticism in the background has ultimately made me smarter. Hey, we all have guilty pleasures.

The amount of work I have had this semester still amazes me. I think Wednesday night was the pinnacle of graduate school stress. Susan, Jackie, and I stayed after to finish a problem for an assignment due this comming week. We messed up slightly on a problem, and had to start all over again. We had to turn in another assignment, which my partner and I (notice the "and I" Susan) didn't fully complete (we left out a part of a question). The professor said he was going to stay until we finished the problem on which we were working. All I can remember were my eyes welling up with tears, but never actually crying. I thought my brain was going to explode. Susan even came over afterwards and looked over my cataloging assignment...I was thinking about the humanities/dialog/oclc for 13 straight hours. No kids, don't stay in school...it isn't the "fun" that college was. You don't have free weekends, unless you want to get behind, and it isn't the constant party...unless you're just damn lucky.

I think the bitterness is coming from the fact that I haven't felt any satisfaction with my classes yet. I like all of them...and I feel like I am learning stuff...each class seems to have a purpose...but each has its terrible quirk. I'll be over it in December, I promise. It's just hard watching myself go through it, as well as my friends. I was listening to my friend Jeff this morning talk about all of the stuff he has to do. I listened to mary snyder this morning and her theory on our info. in the humanities class. Susan just called me worried about our client search project. geez. I'll quit complaining. At least I'm not alone.

Despite the stress, life has been pleasant lately. My parents visited Friday and Saturday. I love my parents...I have never met people more selfless in my life. I hope to do the same for my kids someday. We shopped in Indianapolis yesterday and just hung out the rest of the time. I don't know what I would do in life if I didn't have a good family.

Gilmore Girls isn't the only thing that has gotten me through the week. I've been reacquainting myself with my past...past people to be exact. Friends have been getting me through who live as close as down the street, and as far away as the great white north, (and red and black south). It's been nice, especially since I lost one of my best friends a couple of months ago.

Okay, I'm back to the real world...can you believe it's already October?

Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets. -Arthur Miller

I have no clue why I am updating right now...I am in the middle of craziness and I should be doing work because I will regret sleep tomorrow. But Philip informed me that I don't update enough, so I guess I will give it a try.

Busy is the best word to describe my life. I am kind of liking it that way because things go by fast and fast means closer to graduation. School is stressful. I have a pathfinder
due tomorrow along with a presentation that I am going to wing...I'll be able to read the thing while I present, so I'm not too worried. I also have an assignment due tomorrow in my other class, which I have yet to complete. My client thing is still in the background and cataloging has definitely taken the back burner this semester...oh crap I have an assignment due in there on Friday. I start working on some french project at library work soon, so that should be fun. I really thought last semester was the pinnicle of stress, but even with two less classes, this semester takes the cheese (or whatever cliché that is...I am so bad with them).

Northview is going well. I like going to the contests a lot...I have only missed Greenwood so far, and will miss Carmel this weekend. I am actually kind of sad. The show is great, and I am so glad that this will be my last impression of marching band. Last Saturday as we were glittering them up (they wear lots of glitter), one of the girls called me over...she said she heard a rumor that I was leaving after winter. I told her about the whole graduating thing and people actually started telling me to not leave...something to the effect that they think they will bring in somebody mean to replace me. It was so nice though...I was flattered.

My parents are coming up this weekend and I can't tell you how excited I am...I am so lucky to have great parents. It's great to have the whole unconditional love thing, and my mom helped me get through some stuff when I was home in August. The whole teenage angst thing is definitely gone now.

I apparantly have a small fan club at the University of Iowa now...haha thanks to my friend Susan. We have been kind of going through this stress thing together...it's going slowly but surely.

To add to the school stress...I feel like Violet Beauregarde in full blueberry stage right now (minus the color blue). I know I look it too.

Anyways, I updated, and will regret it tomorrow when I am tired and cranky.

And I will get to Alaska.

31 Days