Au Revoir Childhood

I suppose that this is my last day of childhood. I start my first real-world job tomorrow and I'm feeling all of the normal pre-entrance jitters. While I'm sad to leave the school world behind (for now), I must say that I am much better off this year than I was in August 2005.

Grad school was definitely a low point in my life. It's not like I was poor at school or that I hated Indiana or anything, but things were messed up in my personal life and I made a lot of stupid decisions, mainly in my first year. I made a few key decisions though that I am very thankful for now.

Renouncing my involvement with color guard in December was probably the smartest decision that I made in Indiana. It had nothing to do with where I was teaching (teching). The activity itself though was holding me back... from I guess moving on from other things, like friendships that weren't really friendships and such, and the stupid drama and rumors that accompany the activity. By quitting then, I am now still able to appreciate it for what it was, while still holding admiration for my real friends who are still teaching and inspiring people. I think I wouldn't be that way had I not taken a break from the drama.

I learned the importance of the apology and keeping in touch with those who are true to you. This happened a couple of times last summer, as well as this past spring semester. I think I will be learning this one for a while.

I learned (0ver and over) that things don't always turn out the way you might want... no matter how much effort you put into something (this was a first for me), how good of a person you are, how much weight you lose, how smart you are, or how just or unjust the situation is. I also learned that not getting what I wanted at the time was the best thing for me, because I wouldn't want to be that stupid, shallow, jaded, or pathetic ever again... and I wouldn't want that something anymore. vague.

I learned (again) the importance of focus and the rewards that come from it.

I finally grew (and shrunk) into my body (I don't look like a 12 year old anymore). I lost 25 pounds from my last day of senior year of college to graduation day 2006. I also got rid of any blonde that I ever had in my hair.

I learned to truly appreciate my family.

I'm not saying that I am super mature now or that I have had a "self-realization" experience. I still have a long way to go, and don't know if I will ever get there. But I will say that I have taken steps in the right direction,.

Not many people read this, but thanks for being there, good or bad for the past two years. It has made me a better person.